Recognition is a basic human need. Recognition can come from conditional strokes which are given for performance. Conditional strokes separate the behavior from the person, and they are earned. Recognition can also come from unconditional strokes, which are generally given non-verbally by a look or a touch. Unconditional strokes are just for being, and they are unearnable. We need relationships where we are given unconditional strokes, for without them we cannont develop a healthy self-esteem. Interestingly, no amount of conditional strokes we can eally by doing things to please others will ever compensate for our need to experience the value that only unconditional strokes provide.
Help me to be open to the positive characteristics in others. Encourage me to affirm their positive qualities.
The more I value myself, the better equipped I will be to give others unconditional strokes.
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