After I had been in the program for a while and was still impatient with my growth, emotionally as well as spiritually, I had to realize I had probably neglected to see the small positive changes occuring within me. At first I had to look hard to find those small, positive changes, which later grew in to giant positive changes. Now I realize those changes were there all along. Because I was not satisfied with them, I discounted the little seeds which just needed more water and warm sunshine (EA) to grow. Those seeds were permanently planted no matter what I believed. And yet, I still became frustrated because I was tired of my shortcomings and wanted a miracle, which was to become well right then and there. I had no patience with my very slow progress.
May I have trust and faith that I will be better if I take action to search for what I need.
I can feel better about myself just knowing I am at least trying to improve.
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