April 25

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
What a joyous feeling when I realize it is never too late to begin again. There is never a time when it is too late for me to start all over. How delightful to know this day can be my turning point - the beginning of a whole new way of life. It is never too late to turn to my Higher Power, who patiently waits for me. It is never too late to surrender my burdens and to enter into a more spiritual life. It is never too late for me to make amends, to forgive, and to forget. If I need to correct things, it is never too late to do so.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You, God, for the knowledge that I can always start over without any shame.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
It is never too late.


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April 23

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I neither liked nor accepted most of my feelings. I either denied them or suppressed them. This denial and suppression caused my symptoms of anxiety, panic, insomnia, depression, etc. Feelings always come out somewhere. By willpower alone I have never been able to stop feeling what I did not wish to feel. Only to the degree that I accept my feelings can I surrender them to a Higher Power. Only in this process will the feelings be free to change. Many times I find myself with a feeling I do not want, I try to talk it away without accepting it. This is when I get locked into the feeling I want to be rid of. I must go back to Step One for powerlessness, Step Two for believing in a Higher Power, and Step Three for surrender.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to accept my feelings and then surrender them to You. Remind me that if they are not changed quickly, it might be I need to learn something from what I am experiencing.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Feelings can only change when they are accepted and surrendered.

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April 21

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Relating to another person intimately over an extended period of time is one of the most difficult things to do. We not only have to deal with our own problems, we have to deal with theirs, and our relationship. This increases the sources of potential problems considerably. It also increases the potential for growth and happiness. This is hard to see when in the midst of problems. If we can learn to relate while maintaining our individuality, we will have grown and found one of the keys to happiness and serenity. Often our partner or spouse will serve as a very clear mirror of ourselves. This can increase our awareness and acceptance so we can take action on those areas where we need work.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I pray I may be grateful for those around me who help me to see myself, because they are aiding me in my recovery.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Relationships, even those which cause pain, encourage us to grow.

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April 20

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
My "day," my time here on earth, is part of God's plan for me. When things are following the natural flow, all seems to go well. How many times, through what I once termed coincidence, were the plans for the day changed for the better? I can stay out of trouble and accept whatever comes when I remember who is in charge of my life. My Senior Partner quite often has different and better ideas of how my day will unfold.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I trust that Your plans for my day will be just what I need.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will rely on my God to get me through whatever this day brings.

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April 19

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Meditation can be a gift from our Higher Power. We can accept that gift without questioning whether we deserve it or not. It is like an EA meeting inside ourselves wherein our Higher Power says, "I do not care where you have been or what you have done. I am glad you are here, and I love you right now just as you are. You are precious to me, no matter what."

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
You are always ready to give me the gift of Yourself. All I have to do is come to a meeting with You. Fear of not deserving Your unconditional love is often all that stands between You and me.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I am deserving of unconditional love.

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April 18

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
There were many times before the program when I did not know what to do next, so I tried to do everything at once. I ended up filled with anxiety and accomplished nothing except to make an already upsetting situation worse. Am I looking at priorities today, sorting them out, handling only the things I can, and leaving the rest to God?

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I ask for Your help to do all I can reasonably do today. Help me to stop, relax, wait, have patience, and be aware that during times of trouble You will continue to care for me, as You did when things were going well.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will do the best I can, no matter what comes, and leave the rest to God.

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April 17

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Our thoughts are like the environment - they started out clean and beautiful. Over the years we dump a lot of garbage into our minds. Some things decay over time (are biodegradable), while other things last forever and leave a garbage dump. The biodegradable refuse is excellent fertilizer - we learn from our mistakes. The plastic and metal must be disposed of - resentments, hate, envy, greed, etc. Just like the environment, there is a need for a one-time wholesale cleanup, once the situation is realized to be bad. Occasionally a new pocket will also need substantial work as new ground is covered. Those areas which have been cleaned will need continued policing to make sure they are actually clean and that there is no new buildup.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to be aware of the location of the garbage dumps in my life so I can pick and sort the fertilizer from the junk. Help me learn from the past and get rid of the things which are getting in the way of my recovery.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Not all garbage is useless, nor is all that we are keeping useful.

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April 16

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I was addicted to fantasizing. For days I would be intoxicated by this fantasizing. I robbed myself of today, of myself , and of other people. Some of my common escapes were: sleeping, drugs, alcohol, reading, and TV. They kept me away from people. But I have learned, I need people. Why did I try to escape from people? Because of fear of rejection and of the unknown.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Give me the strength to live in today and to continue to reach out to people.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
What I am is real. I cannot escape from the reality that is me.

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April 15

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I came into this program to learn more about myself and about the emotions I had hidden and repressed. Fear kept me from thinking rationally and from making decisions and acting in a way which was true to myself. It prevented me from setting any priorities in my life. When I acted out of fear, I hurt my self-image. Fear kept me from reaching out and letting others get close to me. It did allow others to see the truly unique person I am.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You for the freedom to grow.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Trust!

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April 14

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Freedom can mean the ability to say no to unproductive habits and unsatisfying ways of living. Freedom means surrendering my powerlessness to my Higher Power. It enables me to turn loved ones and troubles over to God's care. Freedom gives me the strength to say no when I want to, and need to. Freedom can mean to be in control of what I do with my thoughts, feelings, and reactions. In the same way, freedom allows me to say yes to positive and productive attitudes. In other words, I am free to be the best me I can be.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You for my freedom, which can be another word for self-discipline.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Only the disciplined are free.

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April 13

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I came into EA afraid - afraid of the past, present, and future; afraid of people, even those people who love me and whom I love. And afraid of being hurt again. EA has taught me that the opposite of fear is faith. As I learn to trust people, I trust my Higher Power, and my fears lessen. Trust in people, trust in my Higher Power, and trust in myself go hand-in-hand.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I remember that as I trust others, my Higher Power, and myself, my faith grows.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Faith challenges fear.

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April 11

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Step Eleven warns us to be careful of wishful thinking and rationalizing, and to be conscious of what we may mistakenly believe to be divine guidance. Talking things out with someone else is suggested so we may gain perspective and understanding before we act. God most often speaks to us through other people. When we draw closer to the God of our understanding, we may be tempted to put aside people and rely only on our Higher Power. If we withdraw from human relationships, thinking we are divinely inspired, we will once again find ourselves becoming self-righteous.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I remain humble enough to recognize my need to continue to reach out to people.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My relationship with God must be balanced with my relationship with people.

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April 10

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Secrets create a wall, which keeps us lonely and isolated. They can also keep us from experiencing love. The more secrets I carried, the more shame I felt. The more shame I experienced, the more I wanted to close myself off from others. No longer do I have to alienate myself from others. There are people who are waiting and willing to listen to my secrets. They will not shame me. Instead they will understand because they have dealt with their own shame. By sharing my secrets I gain acceptance, belonging, and trust in my value as a person.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I have the courage to share the secrets I have tried to keep buried in my subconscious, for I realize this will set me free.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
By sharing my shame, I can join the human race.

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April 9

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
The word surrender was never a part of my vocabulary. It meant weakness or quitting or being cowardly. It frightened me when I heard people at meetings say, "You have to surrender." I had to unlearn what had been instilled in me since childhood. I had to get rid of the old "never give up" adage that was so much a part of my life. It was extremely difficult to change that part of my background. But what a relief to not have to be responsible for the whole world and all its inhabitants anymore. What a great comfort to be able to let go.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to surrender my whole being to You daily.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Surrender is serenity.

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April 8

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
There seems to be a lot of contention about the concept of a Higher Power. Many easily accept the idea. Others find difficulty with it and blame their inability to acknowledge a Higher Power on what they perceive as logic. When we apply this to Step Two, we can see that no matter how we try to define our understanding of our Higher Power, we will come to a point where our concept does not make any sense. This we cannot change. Can I accept my Higher Power on its own terms, even though my Higher Power eludes logic?

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
To You whom I call my Higher Power, help me to believe You can restore balance to my life. Help me to avoid shading my understanding of You by molding You to my own ability to perceive.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
The concept of a Higher Power is profound and may elude logic.

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April 7

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
All I have are these twenty-four hours. Each second, minute, and hour I have a choice. Do I realize how many choices I do make each day, however, small they are? I am responsible when I am making decisions. Each choice I make helps me to grow. Some decisions I make might be right, some might be wrong, but I grow from all of them. I gain more confidence with each decision I make.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Give me the courage to make decisions.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
The worst choice may be to make no choice, but even that is a choice.

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April 6

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I am complex. My emotions do not have to make sense - they just are. As I accept them, contradictions an all, I can choose how I want to act. When I deny their existence or try to force them into my current understandings of my pattern, they control my actions. I become angry when there is no reason; I become depressed over nothing. As I accept myself, I find things make a lot more sense. This understanding usually comes without my exerting an intense effort. It most often "occurs" to me. This comes because, as I can accept all of me, I am open.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to remember my future growth is unlimited.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Today I can accept.

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April 5

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I continue to take personal inventory as suggested in the Tenth Step. As time passes, I become more aware of my wrongdoings as they occur. My being aware of these wrongs (gossip, irritability, selfishness, false pride, etc) will not erase them from my life. Admitting and accepting them is a beginning. Realizing how they alienate me from myself, as well as others, can give me the incentive to give them up.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I ask for help from my Higher Power in handling each of my shortcomings.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will not only take my personal inventory, but also ask God to help me today to turn my defects into positive actions.

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April 4

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Often we do not risk asking for something we want or need. We do not like being open about what is really important and possibly feeling rejected. If someone says no, it hurts; it may feel like rejection. It may be necessary to think differently about our response to someone who says no. That person may not be rejecting us, after all, but is simply unable to give what we are asking. I will think of several things I want and risk asking for them. I will be aware that if the person cannot give what I ask, it does not mean I am unworthy of my request.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
God, remind me if I ask for ten things and receive only two, I have at least gained something.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Risk nothing, gain nothing.

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April 3

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Perfectionism is one of my character defects. When I work hard and honestly on my Fourth Step, I was anticipating a feeling of happiness and accomplishment. I had already made plans to share it with my Fifth-Step person. The day came and my strong feelings were: "It's not good enough. It doesn't mean anything. The work was less than adequate." I reviewed my Fourth Step and realized not only was I looking for perfection, I was also fearful of rejection. Only with trust in my Higher Power, and knowledge that I had honestly tried to do a good job, could I overcome the fear and share my Fourth Step.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You for the strength and love and courage You give me whenever I ask for
it.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My Higher Power is always there for me.

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April 2

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
One of the toughest things I ever have to do is get myself going after a setback. The fear of ridicule and the heartbreak of disappointment sap me of the drive and energy needed to start up again. First I need to ask my Higher Power for a bold dash of enthusiasm to set up a spark of hope, which is a driving force that enables me to try again. Upsets, setbacks, and unsuccessful attempts can become ways for me to strengthen my emotional stability by reexamining my priorities. If my method did not work, why not? I have to take a new look at the problem by viewing it from someone else's standpoint and by detaching myself. Maybe I cannot see the forest for the trees. I can try again with the help of my Higher Power grasping one hand, and the EA program and friends clinging tightly to the other.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Give me back my enthusiasm and hope when at first I do not succeed.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My success is measured by my willingness to keep trying.

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April 1

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Guilt comes from a violation of our value system. Guilt says, "I made a mistake; I can ask forgiveness." Shame comes from an attitude of falling short, of being inadequate, worthless, and helpless. We can recognize shame by such thoughts as: "How can anyone like me? I am sicker than others. I am a bad person." Shame is our biggest obstacle to growth because it is tied to who we are. Certainly we cannot rid ourselves of who we are by asking forgiveness. Shame can be overcome when we realize that although we make mistakes, we are not bad people. As we are able to distinguish between guilt and shame, our growth can continue.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Let me be aware today of how I speak to myself. Remind me that I am loveable.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Guilt says, "I made a mistake." Shame says, "I am a mistake."

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