March 31

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Choices are not always easy. I do have a choice when a decision is called for. I may not recognize the choices and often say, "I had no choice but to .....," and so on. But the actual situation may have been that the alternative to what I chose was so undesirable, I did not give it any rank. For example, I am learning that I always have the choice of not choosing. In other words, I can ignore the situation. And I have realize that is making a choice. I recently heard the idea, "Not to choose is to choose." Hopefully the idea will help me to learn to evaluate all alternatives more thoroughly.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to be honest with myself and my situation. May I think about that the next time I feel short on choices.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Choices are almost always available.

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March 30

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I am troubled with my character defects of impatience or perfectionism, I can reflect on the slogan, "Easy does it." When I plant seeds in my garden, I do not go and dig them up every day to see how fast they are growing. Similarly, when I plant myself in an EA group, nourished by the experience, strength, and hope of my fellow members, I can allow myself the fullness of time for growth, expressed in small daily increments.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I not overreach myself but be content with my natural rate of growth.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I am nurtured by the fertile garden (my group) and warmed by the sunlight of the spirit (my Higher Power). I will bloom in my own way, in my own time.

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March 29

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
There have been a handful of very special people who have come into our life. These people have been instruments of a great deal of healing. For someone who had tried to be as self-sufficient as I had, accepting their help was tough. When I became aware that not to accept their care and support would be very self-defeating, it became easier to reach out. As I have been able to let go of pride and fear and reach out, I learned more and more about my own inner beauty.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Nudge me, Higher Power, if I try to become self-sufficient once again. It is so lonely behind that wall.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
By letting love in, I have found myself and a caring Higher Power.

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March 28

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Most of us long to be known and understood in depth; yet we resist this self-disclosure, for with it comes a fear of loss. We may fear: What if my loved one dies? Or walks away? How will I survive? The loss won't be so great and won't hurt so much if I don't care so much. Often we are unaware that after intimate moments we create distance by becoming bored, irritated, or angry because we don't want to lose the feeling of being in control of our lives. We can be assured our fear of intimacy is normal, yet hurtful if we allow it to control us.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I be reminded that unless I risk the loss, I will remain lonely and empty in the present moment.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To let someone love me, I need to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable, I have to let go of control. I will resist closing up or running away.

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March 27

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
A friend once put a tomato plant in a window box and placed it under plastic outside an open window during the fall. It continued to bear fruit well past the normal time, but the fruits became successively smaller. This is like us. We try to avoid our doormat times by continuing intense activity when we need quiet "nonproductive" time. Our efficiency slides. We become tired and tense. Basically we waste ourselves. Sometimes it is hard to say no. It is difficult to keep inner space high enough on our priority list.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I take time off as I need it, realizing this is essential to my ability to produce, and even cope.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I need a quiet time of meditation.

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March 26

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
As I look back over my life, I realize there were many times when I "blew" it. I was trying too hard and never quite made it. I finally realized that by myself and my own power I could not accomplish what I needed to make me happy. Now I am learning to surrender to my Higher Power, recognizing my need for help, and a program, to really live a full life. I don't need to defend myself continuously because when I turn things over to my Higher Power, I am no longer responsible for the results, only for the efforts expended.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I be receptive to the good You have in store for me this day and every day.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My control led to unhappiness, so for today I will give my Higher Power a chance.

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March 25

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
It is still too easy for me to get down. Not way down into deep depression, but down enough to make me work to get up. If I stay even a little bit down for long, I know how easy it is to slide further and further in that direction. It has been a long time since I have been really depressed, but because of the pain it caused me, the fear of depression is always there. When the down feeling hits, it is time to act "as if" and start thinking positive thoughts. I must concentrate on the good in my life and the good in me. I must turn off the "feel-sorry-for-yourself" ballads and tune in to humor, which helps my day become increasingly better.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Let me always be aware of any downward trend in my thinking. Give me strength to turn my thoughts to the positive.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Today is an up day.

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March 24

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
After working Steps One, Two and Three, it is tempting to sit back and say, "Okay, I'll let go; You take over." This does not work. It is like having a well and saying, "Why am I thirsty?" A well has clear, cool, refreshing water, but the water must be pumped or drawn out. We must use our faith to do what we know is right. We must seek counsel, meditate, and work on the steps. In any case, this program does not call for giving up; it calls for surrender. We are endowed with unique qualities which can be used to make our life and the lives of others better. Part of faith is seeking these qualities and using them when we find them. The love and acceptance of the program is the oil and fuel for the pump which will draw this faith and these qualities up into the light for us.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I pray I may use my faith in order that I may grow.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Faith is like a deep well - it has great potential but is worthless if not used.

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March 23

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Step Four suggests honesty with myself. Self-deception multiplies my problems and is an obstacle to the resolution of many of them. A searching and fearless inventory of my irrational behaviors and negative attitudes, like surgery for an inflamed appendix, is essential in my search for better emotional health. Self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as I uncover it. I may blame the shortcomings on others to excuse my own. On the other hand, lack of God-given humility may be clouding my appreciation and realization of my true value and worth. I have both weaknesses and strengths.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Remind me that my strength grows day by day when I face myself as I am, and patiently correct whatever is keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will find serenity and stability only when I am honest with myself.

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March 22

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I first started to work the Twelve Steps, I felt when I got to Step Twelve my life would be manageable and I would not be powerless. I did get to Step Twelve, and many parts of my life became manageable, but I am still as powerless as when I first started. My Higher Power is making today manageable, not my power. The word "manage" means to control, to take charge of, to succeed in accomplishing. Am I willing to admit I can't control, take charge of, or succeed in life by myself? To admit I am powerless over my emotions is one thing, but to admit I can't manage my own life sounds hopeless and helpless. But there is help and hope with a Higher Power as my manager.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to see what areas of my life I am still trying to manage and help me to turn them over to You.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My Higher Power is a better manager than I am.

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March 21

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
A person who continues to run from pain ultimately finds he or she has to deal with some type of neurosis: depression, anxiety, or some other obsessive or compulsive behavior. Only when my pain became so great did I stop running. Then I had to deal with both the pain my neurosis created, plus the original pain I had run from in the first place. Once I learned I was creating more pain by running, I became more willing to face myself honestly on a daily basis. As I deal with my pain, I keep from developing another type of neurosis.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
If I begin to run, God, slow me, for I know You do not want me to hurt myself anymore.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
As I face my pain, I learn about myself, and my pain turns into a gain.

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March 19

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
As an adult, I am just beginning to appreciate the child in myself. The ability to be a child is the willingness to trust, to be vulnerable, to risk being laughed at or criticized. Although being vulnerable can be frightening, it is also freeing. In becoming childlike, we gain the ability to play and to respond to life with laughter and humor. Not always being concerned about what others are thinking of me is one of the greatest freedoms the program gives me.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I have a greater appreciation of the child inside of me, for I now know that is the part of me which is willing to trust. I need to trust if I wish to become open to myself and to life.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will continue to risk letting the child in me out.

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March 18

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
How we talk to ourselves creates how we ultimately feel. How often we tell ourselves that we are awful, something that happened is terrible, or we should be different or the circumstances should be different. Yet we are the way we are and life is the way it is. Acceptance of ourselves as we are and life as it is does not come easily. Again and again we struggle to be something we are not and to make things outside ourselves different from what they are. We use valuable energy and feel no better for the effort we invested.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I talk about myself and life in ways which are accepting. The gift I will receive is peace.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will be aware of how I talk to myself.

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March 15

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
We struggled through many days, depending on things or people to make us happy. Yet nothing outside us could give us that feeling of security and happiness we sought. Finally, in desperation, we reached out, honestly. By being vulnerable, we began to gain what we had sought from the external. At first we were quite surprised to find we could create happiness and belonging by our own efforts. The more we risk being open, the more we are given.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Because honesty brings me a sense of security, helps me to be willing to risk being vulnerable.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Being vulnerable brings us much of what we need.

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March 14

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I concentrate too hard on what I want of life, I lose track of what God wants. But when I concentrate on living as I think God wants me to, listening to my heart and being ready to accept with good humor that which I cannot change, I almost always get from life something better than I could have asked for. I still have a tendency to say, "Please, God, let me have this or do that," but I almost always add, "if it is Your will." And I mean it!

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Remind me, when I am demanding, that if I surrender I will get more than I asked for.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will try to get out of my own way and trust God to handle what I cannot.

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