April 30

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
"Turning it over" to my Higher Power is an exercise in accepting my limitations and a way of facing reality. I am saying, "This is too big for me; I am too weak, and it overwhelms me." I am letting go of a struggle which, in most cases, I could not hope to win. I am acknowledging there are some things too complicated, too difficult, and perhaps even too abstract for me to deal with at this moment. Maybe later, when I am able to break a big problem into little bits and pieces, I will once again take up the challenge. But not now. Not while it is bigger than I am.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I learn to live a manageable life by tackling manageable problems, and turning the rest over. May I comfortably accept my limitations.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Today I will pick on problems my own size.

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April 29

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
My happiness does not depend on anyone but me. It is not given to me by others, nor can I earn it from others. Whether I am happy or not is the result of my own attitude toward myself and toward shared experiences. I place a terrific burden upon others if I make them responsible for my happiness. In expecting too much from others, I alienate them and become frustrated and angry with myself and them. This can give me the feeling of loneliness while in the midst of a crowd.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to search inward sufficiently so I can be my own best friend.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My happiness comes from a positive appreciation of myself.

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April 28

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I used to see God responding to me with a clenched fist. Of course this vision created fear and guilt and made me want to hide. Day by day my vision of my Higher Power has changed. The hand is no longer clenched, but open very wide. The arms are a place where I can retreat for comfort and security. God always guides my footsteps, and, in the painful times when I stumble and fall, God will carry me until I can walk again.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You, Creator, for the knowledge that You are with me, always guiding my path. When I am hurting, may I remember I can look to You for comfort.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
God did not change; only my vision of God changed.

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April 27

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
If it seems that on page after page of this book you are told to let go and let God, it is because it is a lesson we all seem to need to learn over and over again. It sounds so simple. Why is it so hard to do, and why do we continually need to be reminded? We need to be responsible for our lives, to do all that we can to solve our problems and deal with challenging situations, but we must remember that the responsibility is not ours alone. We may not know what our needs are, but our Higher Power does. We may think there is no way a certain situation can be resolved, but there is One who does know how it can be resolved.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I remember that letting go does not mean I do not have to make any effort.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Let God do the worrying.

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April 26

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
In the aftermath of inventorying my specific defects of character, I found that underlying them all was a profound conviction that I am fundamentally defective in my very being. I am programmed with these false instructions: "You are not good enough! And it is your fault. And you are responsible for being better. But no matter what you do, you are weak and wrong, and you are condemned!" But in my Fifth Step my Higher Power gave me permission to accept myself for being me.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I understand that I am not guilty of being no better than I am.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I am a part - not apart.

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April 24

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Today will be a great day. I believe it in my mind, my heart, and my bones. Only good things will happen to me and for me. It may rain, snow, or sleet, but so what? My inner sun will be shining. As I smile "good morning" at others, they will feel better and pass on the smile to someone else, thus creating a network of smiles. Though the circumstances of each individuals day may be different, there is one similarity for all of us. We have the choice to think positive thoughts. I choose today to believe that this day will be great. These thoughts are contagious and can work as rapidly as virus germs.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to be a carrier of positive attitudes. May I always realize that happiness spreads happiness.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
No antibiotic can "cure" positive or happy thoughts and actions.

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April 22

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When tense and confused, I need to realize I cannot force-feed thoughts, positive or negative, to my hurting emotions. It only serves to cause more anxiety and depression. I must be accepting of my thoughts and feelings - be able to admit being unable to change them all at once or on my own. They may not make sense at the time and may contradict what I believe. I need to accept them with gentleness and compassion.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me accept that I am hurting. Help me to be gentle with myself and to reach out.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Part of growth is realizing that hurt people, hurt people. I will apply this to myself.

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April 12

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I clean a drawer, I do not just rearrange the mess inside. I dump out the contents, throw away the things which are no longer usable, and keep only that which is valuable. I need to "dump" myself out to my Higher Power, throw away attitudes and behavior that have been hindering my relationships, and keep only those ideas which build and strengthen me.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Grant me the courage to take an honest look at myself.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I trust that my Higher Power will help me know what to throw and what to keep.

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March 31

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Choices are not always easy. I do have a choice when a decision is called for. I may not recognize the choices and often say, "I had no choice but to .....," and so on. But the actual situation may have been that the alternative to what I chose was so undesirable, I did not give it any rank. For example, I am learning that I always have the choice of not choosing. In other words, I can ignore the situation. And I have realize that is making a choice. I recently heard the idea, "Not to choose is to choose." Hopefully the idea will help me to learn to evaluate all alternatives more thoroughly.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to be honest with myself and my situation. May I think about that the next time I feel short on choices.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Choices are almost always available.

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March 30

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I am troubled with my character defects of impatience or perfectionism, I can reflect on the slogan, "Easy does it." When I plant seeds in my garden, I do not go and dig them up every day to see how fast they are growing. Similarly, when I plant myself in an EA group, nourished by the experience, strength, and hope of my fellow members, I can allow myself the fullness of time for growth, expressed in small daily increments.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I not overreach myself but be content with my natural rate of growth.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I am nurtured by the fertile garden (my group) and warmed by the sunlight of the spirit (my Higher Power). I will bloom in my own way, in my own time.

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March 29

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
There have been a handful of very special people who have come into our life. These people have been instruments of a great deal of healing. For someone who had tried to be as self-sufficient as I had, accepting their help was tough. When I became aware that not to accept their care and support would be very self-defeating, it became easier to reach out. As I have been able to let go of pride and fear and reach out, I learned more and more about my own inner beauty.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Nudge me, Higher Power, if I try to become self-sufficient once again. It is so lonely behind that wall.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
By letting love in, I have found myself and a caring Higher Power.

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March 28

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Most of us long to be known and understood in depth; yet we resist this self-disclosure, for with it comes a fear of loss. We may fear: What if my loved one dies? Or walks away? How will I survive? The loss won't be so great and won't hurt so much if I don't care so much. Often we are unaware that after intimate moments we create distance by becoming bored, irritated, or angry because we don't want to lose the feeling of being in control of our lives. We can be assured our fear of intimacy is normal, yet hurtful if we allow it to control us.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I be reminded that unless I risk the loss, I will remain lonely and empty in the present moment.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To let someone love me, I need to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable, I have to let go of control. I will resist closing up or running away.

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March 27

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
A friend once put a tomato plant in a window box and placed it under plastic outside an open window during the fall. It continued to bear fruit well past the normal time, but the fruits became successively smaller. This is like us. We try to avoid our doormat times by continuing intense activity when we need quiet "nonproductive" time. Our efficiency slides. We become tired and tense. Basically we waste ourselves. Sometimes it is hard to say no. It is difficult to keep inner space high enough on our priority list.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I take time off as I need it, realizing this is essential to my ability to produce, and even cope.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I need a quiet time of meditation.

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March 26

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
As I look back over my life, I realize there were many times when I "blew" it. I was trying too hard and never quite made it. I finally realized that by myself and my own power I could not accomplish what I needed to make me happy. Now I am learning to surrender to my Higher Power, recognizing my need for help, and a program, to really live a full life. I don't need to defend myself continuously because when I turn things over to my Higher Power, I am no longer responsible for the results, only for the efforts expended.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I be receptive to the good You have in store for me this day and every day.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My control led to unhappiness, so for today I will give my Higher Power a chance.

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March 25

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
It is still too easy for me to get down. Not way down into deep depression, but down enough to make me work to get up. If I stay even a little bit down for long, I know how easy it is to slide further and further in that direction. It has been a long time since I have been really depressed, but because of the pain it caused me, the fear of depression is always there. When the down feeling hits, it is time to act "as if" and start thinking positive thoughts. I must concentrate on the good in my life and the good in me. I must turn off the "feel-sorry-for-yourself" ballads and tune in to humor, which helps my day become increasingly better.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Let me always be aware of any downward trend in my thinking. Give me strength to turn my thoughts to the positive.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Today is an up day.

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March 24

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
After working Steps One, Two and Three, it is tempting to sit back and say, "Okay, I'll let go; You take over." This does not work. It is like having a well and saying, "Why am I thirsty?" A well has clear, cool, refreshing water, but the water must be pumped or drawn out. We must use our faith to do what we know is right. We must seek counsel, meditate, and work on the steps. In any case, this program does not call for giving up; it calls for surrender. We are endowed with unique qualities which can be used to make our life and the lives of others better. Part of faith is seeking these qualities and using them when we find them. The love and acceptance of the program is the oil and fuel for the pump which will draw this faith and these qualities up into the light for us.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I pray I may use my faith in order that I may grow.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Faith is like a deep well - it has great potential but is worthless if not used.

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March 23

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
Step Four suggests honesty with myself. Self-deception multiplies my problems and is an obstacle to the resolution of many of them. A searching and fearless inventory of my irrational behaviors and negative attitudes, like surgery for an inflamed appendix, is essential in my search for better emotional health. Self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as I uncover it. I may blame the shortcomings on others to excuse my own. On the other hand, lack of God-given humility may be clouding my appreciation and realization of my true value and worth. I have both weaknesses and strengths.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Remind me that my strength grows day by day when I face myself as I am, and patiently correct whatever is keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will find serenity and stability only when I am honest with myself.

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March 22

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
When I first started to work the Twelve Steps, I felt when I got to Step Twelve my life would be manageable and I would not be powerless. I did get to Step Twelve, and many parts of my life became manageable, but I am still as powerless as when I first started. My Higher Power is making today manageable, not my power. The word "manage" means to control, to take charge of, to succeed in accomplishing. Am I willing to admit I can't control, take charge of, or succeed in life by myself? To admit I am powerless over my emotions is one thing, but to admit I can't manage my own life sounds hopeless and helpless. But there is help and hope with a Higher Power as my manager.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to see what areas of my life I am still trying to manage and help me to turn them over to You.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My Higher Power is a better manager than I am.

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March 21

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
A person who continues to run from pain ultimately finds he or she has to deal with some type of neurosis: depression, anxiety, or some other obsessive or compulsive behavior. Only when my pain became so great did I stop running. Then I had to deal with both the pain my neurosis created, plus the original pain I had run from in the first place. Once I learned I was creating more pain by running, I became more willing to face myself honestly on a daily basis. As I deal with my pain, I keep from developing another type of neurosis.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
If I begin to run, God, slow me, for I know You do not want me to hurt myself anymore.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
As I face my pain, I learn about myself, and my pain turns into a gain.

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March 19

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
As an adult, I am just beginning to appreciate the child in myself. The ability to be a child is the willingness to trust, to be vulnerable, to risk being laughed at or criticized. Although being vulnerable can be frightening, it is also freeing. In becoming childlike, we gain the ability to play and to respond to life with laughter and humor. Not always being concerned about what others are thinking of me is one of the greatest freedoms the program gives me.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
May I have a greater appreciation of the child inside of me, for I now know that is the part of me which is willing to trust. I need to trust if I wish to become open to myself and to life.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will continue to risk letting the child in me out.

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