April 23

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I neither liked nor accepted most of my feelings. I either denied them or suppressed them. This denial and suppression caused my symptoms of anxiety, panic, insomnia, depression, etc. Feelings always come out somewhere. By willpower alone I have never been able to stop feeling what I did not wish to feel. Only to the degree that I accept my feelings can I surrender them to a Higher Power. Only in this process will the feelings be free to change. Many times I find myself with a feeling I do not want, I try to talk it away without accepting it. This is when I get locked into the feeling I want to be rid of. I must go back to Step One for powerlessness, Step Two for believing in a Higher Power, and Step Three for surrender.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Help me to accept my feelings and then surrender them to You. Remind me that if they are not changed quickly, it might be I need to learn something from what I am experiencing.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Feelings can only change when they are accepted and surrendered.

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August 20

REFLECTION FOR TODAY
"Are you angry and upset?" "Who, me? Heavens no; I don’t let things like that bother me." Sound familiar? It is the first denial of a feeling – saving face and trying to preserve my I-don’t-care attitude. Now I start to think and mull the incident over in my mind. It consumes me. My stomach starts to churn as resentment builds. "No, nothing is bothering me; I’m just tired. Second denial. My concentration is shot. I cannot think. Disorientation has my mind whirling. A sudden noise or a question from a child or a broken dish starts up my yelling machine. "No, nothing is wrong! Leave me alone! Third denial. Hopefully the yelling has allowed me to let off some steam. If not, the next phase could be striking out physically at the persons closest to me. Now let me turn the clock back: "Are you angry and upset?" "Yes, I am. Let's talk this out and get it settled right now." No denial, no turmoil, no temporary pain. What a difference!

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Give me the courage to admit and accept my feelings instead of denying them.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Nipping it in the bud can save me from full blossomed pain.

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